


Is the Grass Greener?

by mohinikapuahi



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Bodyswap, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 11:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It should be in the rule book, Don't piss off the Witch Doctors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kono laid quietly, her eyes closed, something wasn’t right. She lay motionless in bed, snuggled like the little spoon against Adam, his arm a comfortable weight across her waist. Mentally shaking off the feelings of paranoia, she opened her eyes, only to snap them closed again. Not the room she went to sleep in. Opening her eyes slowly she carefully catalogued everything she could see without moving. The dresser, the window, even the bedside tables, she’d seen them before and she knew where. She was in the boss’ bedroom. She’d been here when he was recovering from his jaunt to Korea. Listening she could even hear the waves as they crashed gently on the private beach.

That didn’t explain how she had gotten here, or even how she and Adam had been transplanted in their sleep without their knowledge. Adam. He must be alright the heavy weight of his warm arm lay across her ribcage. Her heart was pounding so fast in her chest that she was sure it was going to beat out of her skin at any moment. She let her fingers trail gently across the arm that wrapped around her waist. She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but what happened next was not it.

“Morning,” A gravelly voice that was so not Adam’s growled into the back of her head, all while the body behind her was pressing closer, an insistent erection pushing quite affectionately against her buttocks. “Want some more of this do you?”

The knowledge of whom that voice belonged too held Kono’s voice silent, her body taut with the tension of the situation as she tried to understand what was going on. Her tension finally conveyed itself to her companion.

“Steve….” Danny’s voice murmured into her ear. “What’s wrong?” The arm that had been hugging her withdrew, the solid fingers tracing their way down her spine. “We didn’t hurt you last night did we?” Blunt fingertips traced their way to the cleft of her buttocks and with a blinding flash of clarity Kono knew exactly where those hands where heading.

Kono flung herself out of bed, feet tangled in the sheeting until she could kick it clear, her hands clutching the pillow her head had been laying on to her torso trying to hide her nakedness from her team mate, before her brain actually absorbed the words she had just heard.

Glancing down her body Kono’s knees nearly buckled. “Holy Fuck.” She murmured, in a voice that was filled with husky sleep and more importantly was not her own voice.

“What’s wrong, Steve?” Danny levered himself to sit on the edge of the bed, his morning erection just sitting thickly against his bare thigh, there for the entire world to see.

Her eyes opened wide she stared, nonplussed for several minutes before she shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. “Nothing.” She murmured, “Nothing at all. Can’t you put something on?”

“We’ve done this enough now Steven, you’re not normally shy, what’s wrong?” Danny exclaimed as he pulled the sheet over himself.

“Holy Fuck.” Kono thought to herself again. “They have been fucking for months. I knew I was right.”

“Nothing, I just need a shower.” Kono sidestepped to the end of the bed, grabbing a towel that hung over the end of the bed and replaced the pillow, trying to get herself a little space to try and work out what the fuck was going on. Because, seriously, when she had gone to bed last night she had breasts not a penis and it had been Adam warmly snuggled into her back, his breath warm on her neck not her workmate. A workmate that just happened to be more like a brother than a lover.

Escaping into the bathroom, Kono held the towel to her body as she leaned back against the door trying to catch her breath as her mind whirled. 

Closing her eyes she stepped forward and took a deep breath before she opened her eyes and looked into the mirror, and straight into her boss’ eyes. Stepping forward she dropped the towel, forgotten as she walked closer to the mirror. Her fingers reached up to brush through short hair and then trailed them across the stubble covered chin.

“Babe.” Danny’s concerned voice called through the door. “You’re worrying me. Are you okay?”

Kono drew a steadying breath, her fingertips still exploring the body she had found herself inside.

“This is about last night isn’t it? You know we’ve talked about it a lot, you promised me you were ready. I would never have done that if you hadn’t wanted me too.” Danny’s voice continued.

“Danny.” She spoke, “For God’s sake. It isn’t about last night. Please for the love of all that is holy, stop talking about last night.” Kono wanted nothing more than to press her hands to her ears and stop hearing the intimate details of her boss’ sex life.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asked.

Kono could hear the confusion in his voice and felt miserable for making him that way. But to be honest, she was far more confused than he would ever be, so he would just have to deal with it for the moment. “Nothing. I just need a few minutes okay?”

“Then let me in, Babe, I need to make sure we didn’t hurt you.” 

“You’re not coming in here.” Kono panicked, “I’m fine, you didn’t hurt me. Please believe me, Danny, you didn’t hurt me. Can I please just have a minute? Alone. Please?”

She heard the sigh from the other side of the door and knew that she/Steve was hurting Danny, but at the moment there was nothing she could do about it.

“Alright. I’m going to go and use the other bathroom to get ready. When you come out could you call Kono, she’s left you a couple of texts and she’s been calling you like a stalker.”

“Okay.” Kono called. “Thank you.”

She leaned her head against the bathroom door and listened as Danny collected clothes and walked across the landing. As soon as she heard the water start in the other shower, Kono opened the door and walked quickly to the bedside table for Steve’s phone. As she picked it up it started to ring again. Pressing the button to answer the call she pushed the phone against her ear and moved back into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her.

“Kono?” her real voice spoke frantically in her ear.

“Steve, is that you?” Kono collapsed more than sat on the closed lid of the toilet.

“Who else would it be?” 

“What happened?” she asked.

“How would I know?” Steve growled in her voice in her ears. “ How’s Danny?”

“How’s Danny?!” Kono exclaimed, “Honestly, Steve, that’s all you’re worried about?”

“Well….”

“Yeah, I don’t want to know okay? He’s worried about you because pardon me I’m freaking the hell out.”

“And you think this is a walk in the park for me, Kono? I woke up with your boyfriend’s face between my legs, and he didn’t appreciate my reaction.”

“Did you hurt him?”

“Did I mention I was naked at the time? I really didn’t need to know you sleep naked.” 

“Did. You. Hurt. Him?” 

“No, but he may be pissed at you when you next see him.”

“Steve what are we going to do?”

“We’ll have to work it out at Headquarters.” Her voice sighed into her ear.

“Danny’s just getting ready, we shouldn’t be long.”

“Don’t be long.”

“Hey boss?” 

“Yes.” She could hear the exasperation in his voice.

“Wear a bra.”

Kono disconnected the call and relaxed back against the cistern. Sighing deeply she stood and turned the water on in the shower cubicle, watching as the steam started to fill the small enclosure.

“Steve?” Danny’s nervous voice came through the door. “Babe?”

“Yes.”

“I’m ready for work I’m going to go and make us some coffee. I may have left some clothes on the bed for you.”

“Thank you.” Kono called as she stepped into the shower.

The longer she stood under the water the stranger washing her bosses body became. Stepping out of the cubicle and perfunctorily drying off, she wrapped a towel around her body under her armpits and walked into the bedroom.  


Dressing as quickly as she could, Kono spent several minutes wriggling uncomfortably into the unfamiliar clothes and laced up her boots. Standing beside the bed, she wrapped Steve’s watch around his wrist and clipped the badge and holster to her hip. Walking quickly down the stairs she couldn’t help her odd gait, she wasn’t accustomed to her unfamiliar baggage.

“You are sore.” Danny spoke softly from where he sat on the sofa.

“I’m fine Danny.” She answered, not really looking at him.

“That would be why you can’t look at me.” Danny stood and handed over a travel mug of coffee before turning to the door.

“Listen, Danny, it’s not you okay? It’s me. I just need some time.” She spoke quickly, she knew the damage she was probably doing to their relationship but at the moment she had bigger things to worry about.

Fishing in his pocket, Danny pulled out the keys and threw them at Steve. Easily caught, Kono looked at the Camaro keys in her hand and looked up at Danny. 

“What are these for?” she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“The car keys, Steven, thought I’d save you the trouble.” Danny shrugged.

“I don’t want to drive.” She answered and tossed the keys back.

“Now I know something is wrong.”

“C’mon we’re late.” Kono stated sidling past him and out to the driveway.

~*~*~*~*~

As they pulled into the car park, Danny watched as Steve jumped from the car as he parked in the space. Following quickly after him, he arrived in the office seconds later, and promptly declared it the twilight zone.

“Kono! My office.” Steve barked as soon as he pressed through the doors to their offices.

As Steve twisted the blinds closed in his office, Kono entered the room behind him.

“What’s going on, brah?” Chin asked. “She’s been squirelly ever since she got in.”

“I have no idea, Steve’s been like a cat in a room full of rockers ever since he woke up.”

“I could barely get two words out of Kono since she’s been here.” Chin frowned.

“Steve was fine last night, this morning he’s been…not himself.” Danny provided.

“The only time they have been together and separate to us is yesterday.” Chin recalled, pacing beside the smart table.

“What sort of shit have they gotten themselves into? I told you it was a bad idea to let them loose together.” Danny reminded Chin, rising onto his toes to see if he could peek through the broken blade of Steve’s venetians.”

“We were all there together. They can’t have done anything too far off the scale.”

“They were questioning that crazy shaman guy while we were tracking down that lead on the car.”

“That’s the only thing we did differently?” 

“Pretty sure.”

“Maybe we should start there.” Chin shrugged.

“Maybe we should wait for them to be done whatever it is they’re doing first.” Danny suggested.


	2. Chapter 2

Kono and Steve stood opposite each other watching warily. 

“Do you have any idea what the fuck is going on?” Kono asked, looking at her body warily, trying to decide if Steve had damaged it since he’d been in it.

“Why would I know? I went to sleep with my boyfriend and I woke up with yours and these.” Steve pressed his hands to the breasts he now inhabited.

Kono cupped her crotch and spoke. “You think this was any easier to become acquainted with? How do you even walk with this just hanging there like that?”

“While we’re on the subject, you need to start wearing real underwear.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my thongs, they’re better than your boxer brief things.” She reached down as she was speaking to him, and readjusted.

“Could you not do that?” Steve frowned at her. “Why didn’t you shave?”

“Because funnily enough, I’m used to shaving legs and armpits. Forgive me for not wanting to nick your face. Not only would it mar the gorgeous canvas but people would wonder why the hell you suddenly couldn’t shave.”

“Wait. You think I’m gorgeous?”

“Oh for God’s sake could you get a grip? You know you’re hotter than a male model, you don’t need me fawning over you, especially since we have bigger problems.”

“Don’t need to explain to me.” Kono relaxed against the edge of the table. “I think you were about to get lucky this morning, Boss.”

“He’s never going to sleep with me again.” 

“He’ll deal with it. It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“C’mon, lets get this over with.”

They walked out of Steve’s office together, coming to stand beside the smart table. Kono walked to stand beside Danny, laying a hand on his forearm.

“I’m sorry, D.” 

“You’re sorry? And please don’t call me that.” He shrugged out from under her hand.

“Kono, what are you doing?” Chin almost squawked as he watched.

“Leave it, Cuz.” Steve ordered and both Danny and Chin turned to look at him.

“What the hell is going on here, Steven?” Danny demanded, stuffing his hands in his pockets and stepping away from the table, glaring at Steve.

“If you want to talk to Steve, you need to look there.” Steve pointed at Kono’s person.

“What are you talking about?” Chin frowned.

“I woke up in Kono’s body.” Steve spoke, “I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I did.”

“that means….” Danny blushed.

“Yup.” Kono spoke.

“Oh My God.” Danny muttered, folding his hands in front of himself. “You’ve seen…”

“Yes and if I could I’d forget it all.” Kono assured him.

“I thought it was because I’d hurt you.” Danny looked into Steve’s face only to be pointed at Kono.

“No D, you were great, perfect in fact, I can’t tell you how good it was.” Kono spoke.

“I can vouch for the you didn’t hurt him.” Steve’s voice responded.

“Can we have these confessions later, in private maybe, or at least while I don’t have to listen. Because I’m fairly certain my ears are about to bleed. ” Chin choked from across the table, his face flushing brightly.

“We need to fix this before I never want to have sex again.” Danny muttered.

“Preaching to the choir, Detective.” Chin responded.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Kono trying to remember when they had been infected with whatever it was that was causing their current issues.

“Do you want to come with me out to the Shaman again?” he spoke and then reached down rearranging himself again.

“What did I tell you?” Kono snapped at him impatiently.

“Well deal with it. You need different underwear. By the way, you should put my hair up, it’ll stay out of your way.”

“Are you two finished with your little routine?” Chin asked with a grin.

“Shut up.” Steve and Kono both responded in unison and with matching glares.

“We’ll all go, who knows what sort of shit you two can get into alone.” Danny suggested.

“Can I drive?” Kono asked grabbing for the keys that swung in Danny’s fingers and jogging out the door.

Steve followed quickly behind her, leaving Danny and Chin watching their retreating backs.

“That should have been my first tip this morning shouldn’t it?” Danny shook his head as he headed towards the door.

“I’m guessing it should have brah.” Chin held the door open as Danny walked briskly through.

The drive to retrace their steps was short and swift, once they had gotten past their amusement at Steve not being able to reach the peddles with Kono’s feet and the pouting that went along with it until the seat adjustments were complete.

~*~*~*~*~

Danny and Chin barely made it out of the back seat of the Camaro, before Steve and Kono were off at a run around the side of the ramshackle house in pursuit of the man who had taken flight as they had pulled into the long drive. By the time they caught up, both Kono and Steve had their guns trained on the middle aged man as he pressed himself against the back of the house.

“I haven’t done anything, why are you doing this?” he wailed at them.

“Then why did you run.” Steve growled.

“I didn’t know who you were.” He responded.

“Mr Keoki,” Danny spoke as he stood beside his partner, lifting one hand to press his warm fingers against Steve’s arm. “We know you’ve done something, we want you to reverse it.”

“I did nothing.”

“You know damn well what you did.”

“You. Fix. It. Now.” Kono bit out through tightly clenched teeth.

“If I were you, Keoki, I might think about answering that question, and sooner rather than later. Because, this one,” Chin gestured with his gun towards Kono, “has a bad temper, and that one? Well he knows a hundred ways to kill you with his pinky. So I think you’ll find your time is running short.”

“It wasn’t dangerous.” Keoki shrugged. “I just needed to distract you for long enough to get my goods off the premises.”

Steve stepped forward and grabbed the man by the collar pinning him to the wall, his feet lifting off the ground.

“Fix. It.” His voice was a low rumble.

“Kono.” Three voices yelled. “Put him down.”

“I don’t have to do anything.” Keoki squawked loudly. “It will wear off. 24 hours. That’s all.”

Chin moved to stand beside Steve and pressed a hand to his shoulder. “Put him down.”

“He’s lying.” 

“We’re taking him into custody. If you don’t wake up in the right body in the morning, you can both show him your displeasure.”

“I don’t want to spend another day in here, Chin.” Steve’s voice wailed plaintively.

“Hey!” Kono slipped her gun back into her holster. “I resent that.”

“Like you want to stay in there.” The words were tossed over Steve’s shoulder as he turned Keoki around to face the wall so Chin could cuff him.

“I don’t know, I could think of a couple of things I wouldn’t mind trying.” Kono moved closer to Danny and slipped a hand along his waist until her fingers cupped his ass.

Danny’s eyes were as wide as saucers as he shrugged away from Kono’s hand.

Hearing the commotion behind him, Steve turned around and stalked back to his team mates.

“I’m only going to say this once boys. That.” He gestured at Danny’s groin. “That is going nowhere near that.” And then gestured at Kono in a similar manner.

“For the Love of God can we get this wrapped up so I can go and be mortified in peace?” Danny pouted as he walked around the corner of the house without a look backwards.

“This whole thing.” Chin waved his hand vaguely in the air, “Is giving me a headache. I just want it to stop.”


End file.
